Heart of Blue

{american apparel crop top and flannel, topshop shorts, cuff c/o persunmall, tights, boots and sunnies from japan}

♬ Heart of Blue - Shannon Saunders ♬

fish scale cuff c/o persunmall

"I don't know where I belong in this city.." 

This phrase paradoxically completes my thought for the past week. Or my whole life, if I am not too embarrassed to say. I'm not afraid to admit that I am not a stand out but at the same time why do I feel I don't belong anywhere as well? Japan is sometimes too perfect for me. Sure, I get appreciated for my distinct small face. But I've been called out rude for not wearing make up in public as well. It's hilarious! I'm too laid back.. and I have a job that is. However, I don't belong there. I hate being lazy and I'm becoming one day by day.. I want to do more, to be more, and excel there. I have sewing classes on Mondays (and sometimes, Saturdays too,) Japanese classes on Tuesdays. I draw, paint and take photos during my free time. I trained myself to avoid the T.V. and other activities that would make me feel unproductive. 

It seems like I'm doing well with my job, my blog and my photography stint at fukulog but I am not yet the person I would love to meet. I am not yet the Girl of My Dreams.

"The girl of my dreams has a dazzling bright smile that lifts everyone in the room. She gives everyone a chance to feel better about themselves instead of envying her. She loves her body and most importantly her imperfections. She's not the one you'll always see prim and proper, she'll be sloppy and shabby but she'll be able to make up for it by her positive attitude in life and words to live by. She loves to write snail mails rather than answer e-mails..."

I will never stop trying 'til I can proudly present her to all of you. Believe me, the glass is always half full.

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